Letters to Genitalia

Dear Mr. Penis,

It is my honor to inform you that your existence means you and your owner can more than likely do almost anything you please due to the social construction of the United States’ society! (yay!)

Doesn’t this all sound great?! I can not wait to see your displays of masculinity turn into a bitter hatred of the world!

Good luck! (you’ll need it!)

Dear Miss Vagina,

I am sorry to inform you that your existence in this cold, cold world means that you and your owner will always come second to the penis in American society (it’s just a fact!).

This may come as a surprise considering on a biological level the female (XX chromosomes) is not a mutated gene, as is the male’s (XY chromosomes). This also might be a surprise since we know females and males fundamentally have the same intellectual, work, and emotional capacity (it honestly doesn’t quite add up but whatcha gonna do, right?).

Well anyway sorry about that. I’m sure you’ll do great things and at least reach the glass ceiling.

You’ll do great sweetie! (Just don’t wear the low cut v-neck, yea?)

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